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" I said."Yeah, ok." he replied trying to hide the disappointment inhis eyes.My heart was racing as I closed the door to the bathroombehind me. I was flush all over and nearly sweating. How amI going to handle this? I thought as I slumped to thefloor. I sat there with my elbows on my knees, hands in mylong brown hair and back to the door for several minutes. Iremembered that I had asked Dusty if I could stay like thisfor a while without ruining my chances of changing back. Ibegan to wonder if just staying female for another minutewould make it impossible for me to be male again. Myemotions were feeding me things that I never couldreconcile with my male self. Finally, I decided to takethat shower, and I made it a cool one.***I sat in my room for the next hour or so mostly trying notto think of Dusty, and mostly thinking of Dusty. I gettingfrustrated with trying to convince myself that it was ok tofeel the way I was feeling. Was I in love with him? Was Igay? Could I be gay if I?m a. I’d really like that.” My eyes trailed slowly down her body. Mom dropped my hands and pulled her skirt up half a foot. Her eyes twinkled with mischief.“All right then,” she said, dropping her skirt. “I’ll go tell your father the good news.”“Mom, wait.”“What?”“Why don’t you tell him tomorrow?”“Tomorrow? Why?”“It’s Saturday.”“What’s so special about Saturday.”“Saturday night is for ... romance. Anyway, you might want to have more time to make it extra special, maybe get a new nightie or something.”“Oh, sweetie. That’s so romantic. One day you’re going to make some woman, another woman, very happy.”“I just want you to be happy, Mom.” Yeah, and I wanted one last chance to make her especially happy.Mom gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll give you a nice big kiss later,” she promised. She turned to leave.“Mom?”She turned back to face me, half way to the door, wearing a quizzical expression.“Why don’t you save that kiss for tomorrow,” I suggested in a lowered voice. “You guys should.
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